Screaming Babies & Presents

Christmas eve was superb. I made a bunch of cupcakes, grocery shopped for the next morning's breakfast pizza and spent the night awake with Cowboy.

Christmas morning, I woke up to a baby in my face. And that ain't good. At 8 in the morning. Which could've been ok, but we didn't get to bed until 4am.

Imagine anyone on four hours of sleep and waking up to a baby in their face. The baby was being held by Cowboy's room mate. The most annoying part of it was the his room mate was talking as if he was the baby to wake us up. "Please wake up, so I can open my presents. It's Christmas", he said in his best baby voice.

The baby isn't even a year old yet, so she doesn't know it's Christmas. The baby isn't even his. It's his girlfriend's.

And that is another story.

Cowboy's room mate (we'll call CR#1 because there are two of them - and the other is so nice) is dating a girl who has a baby. The baby is cute, very cute. But the baby like her mother is also very loud. And when I say the mother is loud, I mean when they are knocking boots kinda loud. Then, again she also has this very distinct laughter - which is also very loud. I like the girlfriend, she is fun and cute - when she is not being loud.

CR#1 is also the most selfish person I know. He doesn't say one word to me when I'm over at their apartment UNLESS it's about a) him and/or b) his girlfriend. He'll spark a conversation if he's tipsy too. And to put the cream on the sundae - whenever I bring anything into the apartment (in a bag) he is always snooping in it. He does it in such a way, as if what is this foreign bag doing in my apartment and is it for me because it's here in my apartment. He'll never say anything out loud about it - he just snoops into it and I always catch him doing so. Once, it was my purse but once he was in it, he realized and stopped. Another time, I brought over some items to cook dinner with. He was all up in it.

Then there are the times when CR#1 will ask me a ton of questions about his girlfriend. Questions along the lines of, 'what should I do?' or 'don't you like her better than my last girlfriend?' - that kind of questioning makes me aggravated. I know he is only looking to justify his relationship with a single mother and it's also his way of pumping himself up.

I can go on and on, but this is about Christmas, so...

on Christmas eve, Cowboy called me and told me that CR#1 wanted us to buy a Target giftcard for CR#1's girlfriend because he knows she bought us all something. So? It's Christmas, it's about giving, I for sure don't give a present just because someone gave me one and vice versa. Cowboy agreed and asked me if I'd like to go to Target with him - THANK THE LORD, I was elbow deep in cupcake batter. There was no way I fighting those crowds, my shopping was finished and I'm a little peeved at CR#1. Why the F would you ask someone to do that? On Christmas eve?

Then, I won the argument with myself: I also bought gifts for his roomies, so I thought - okay, I can see the point and let's let it go because it's Christmas.

Cut to Christmas morning - after the baby was in my face and I forced to wake up and watch a ten month old baby open presents and then ooh and ahh over it. Oh, I was so grumpy. Then, then, then THERE WAS NO PRESENT FOR ME FROM CR#1 OR CR#2 OR A COMBO OF.

What the F?

I know it's Christmas, I do. I know its about giving and joy and blah blah. Buuut, if you are going make people buy your girlfriend of 2 months a present, what about the girl who has been here for 7 months? The girls that has cooked your ass dinner at least 5 times in those months? The girl who was there answering your ridiculous girl problem questions? The girl who invited you to her birthday party and since you'd rather hang out with your girlfriend, alone, you decided to fore go?

Yeah, me! What about me? I was so upset. After all the gift opening, I went into the kitchen and took it out on their breakfast pizza, that I promised I'd make.

Cowboy immediately knew something was wrong. He tried all day to get it out of me. Being Christmas and his room mate, I didn't want to complain and sound like a cry baby. Finally, I did.

Please know, it was not about the lack of a present to me. It was about his reasoning for us to get her a giftcard (he even told us what amount to get!). It was about him putting the baby in my face at 8am. It was about his Christmas spirit facade - oooh, I completely forgot to tell y'all this part (yeah, I'm on a venting roll)

Get this. Two weeks ago, we all went on a double date. CR#1 admitted to us that he doesn't like Christmas and he didn't want any decorations in the apartment, especially a tree. WTF, right? (it's so funny because a few days later, his girlfriend bought a small table top tree for the apartment. I thought that was funny. Better her than me. I'm sure if I did it, CR#1 would have said something) But that's not the best part: he straight up told us that he doesn't get presents for adults, only children. HOLD UP. Did that mean his girlfriend would not be getting a gift? Yes. Can you believe that bullshit? He told us to get her one and he never got her a thing? And, I still went ahead and got him a group present with CR#2.

All that and I had to watch him fake daddy his ass throughout Christmas morning. Once the baby and girlfriend were gone, lo and behold, he clammed up per usual and we didn't hear a peep from him after that. No, thanks Golightly for making us breakfast - nothing.

Yeah. I'm livid. I'm trying to find a good way to let Cowboy know without sounding like an idiot. Believe me, he has to know because I will stew on this.

Thanks for letting me vent.

All I Want for Christmas

I'm the type that has her car radio tuned into the Christmas music 24/7 station for the entire month of December.

I'm the type that doesn't mind the mall crowds, at all. Sometimes I crave them. People busying themselves in search for gifts.

I don't even mind sitting in traffic for half an hour to park at said crowded mall.

I heart Christmas romantic movies, such as; "Love Actually", "Love Story", "The Holiday", "When Harry Met Sally" (which I think is kinda Christmasy)

Shoot, I just heart watching romantic movies around the holidays.

I'm the type that sets apart time and takes their time at wrapping presents.

I'll bake every other day for the last 2 weeks of the year.

Christmas calls for trying out new recipes. Main courses and desserts.

Christmas is for belting out all the carols. Real loud.

Christmas is about champagne and sparkling cider punches.

Christmas is about the anticipation and joy of welcoming a new year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

P.S.

Nanette: Yes, the pull up scene in I am Legend was worth the price of admission. It could have been 30 seconds longer if you asked me. I think I was seriously hypnotized by what was happening on the screen at that moment. Yum. Cowboy started to read the book and says it's ten times better than what we saw (go figure), so I may read it after him and have a better take on whatever it was Will Smith was trying to show me.

Bev: No, my toothbrush is not orange or brown. It's cream. So I think it matches my bathroom ten times more than his purple toothbrush. Which I found out was the freebie he got from the dentist. I don't do the freebie toothbrushes. I like a hard brush. No softies, please. And I know it's been recommended by the Tooth Government that we treat our gums nicely and use soft head brushes. Well, I like my teeth to be squeaky clean so F my gums. I like a hard head brush - which are very rare to find, now that its been frowned upon by the whoever makes the rules for our teeth. The hardest out there is a medium - and that doesn't cut it for me. So I have to go black market to find a toothbrush - it's an entire day hunt for me. Target doesn't have them. You can rarely find one at a CVS. But if you venture into ghetto areas of town (where I guess the stores didn't get the tooth memo) and find hard head toothbrushes. Anyways, I like it hard and I buy a new toothbrush every time I buy toothpaste. And they are never purple.

This weekend amongst the last minute shoppers, we went and caught an early (10am) showing of 'P.S. I love You'. LOVED IT. This is the first really good romantic comedy I've seen in a long ass time.

You cry every twenty minutes, but in between the crying you are laughing your butt off. And Gerard Butler is hot, hot super hottie. Harry Connick Jr is not so bad either. But then that darn actor that played Denny on Grey's Anatomy comes in. I'm sorry, I just cannot see him for anything other than Denny and I just scowled when he was on screen. Grey's has ruined him for me.

I also learned this weekend, it's so much better and efficient to wrap gifts with someone you love. What a difference it makes to have someone hold down the paper for you, hold the tape pieces and wrap a present with. No one told me. It's fabulous. So fabulous I had to steal kisses with every piece of tape.

I just heart love and Christmas. It's so fun.

Caramelized Onions & Bananas

Two weeks ago, one night I found myself standing on one side of my kitchen bar and Cowboy was sitting at a barstool on the other side. In a bowl in between us were some bananas. I stared at them for awhile and then said, cooly, "You know what sounds really good? Caramelized onions and bananas."

I was dead serious. He looked at me as if I was from Mars.

I then went to look in my pantry for onions, I took one out.

"Oh hell no" he said back to, "if you make that, I'm out of here."

Did it sound that gross? I thought about it and yeah! it did. What came over me? What would cause me to have such an odd craving? Because I can tell you right now, I have never ever had caramelized onions and bananas.

But it sounded so good.

A few days later, I caught myself drooling over the bananas again. This time, onion was gone. So was Cowboy. I stood there and calculated how long it would take me to drive to the grocery, run in and out with a yellow onion, come back and cook it.

Then I snapped back out of it with one thought: Holey beejeezus, could I be?
Hmmmm

Every single thought and swallow of that pill had me going crazy. Even more crazier when one day, I was nauseous all day long. Then, I was convinced that I was so in the same boat with Bev. Same boat.

A few days later, the bananas were gone but not the anxiety. I seriously went out and bought a pregnancy test. Straight up. Those fuckers are expensive!

I didn't use it and it's under my bed right now for emergency use only. I decided that it would be emergent when I got through the white pills and no Aunt Flo. White pills came.

Day One: Nothing.
Day Two: Nothing. I'm ready to start a law suit against Yaz.
Day Three: Hallelujah!!

There is nothing that can make me go crazier. Nothing. And the funny part is during all this scary anxiety - the more & more people were announcing their pregnancies to the world. I thought for sure, yep, it's airborne, we're next!

In celebration of not being with child, I baked these. And they are damn good. Probably not as good as the caramelized onions and bananas could have been.

Skinny Bitch

I hate that phrase or nickname with all the power in my being - more like I hate it so much it's like flames coming out of my head.

Why is it, if a girl is skinnier, she is a skinny bitch?

Several people have thrown this phrase around to me. And many times I just want to bark back: I'm not that skinny! I'd say I'm slim; but I'm not so skinny that you can throw the words at me as a cutdown. And what exactly does it mean?

Am I a automatically a bitch because I'm skinnier (slimmer) than the person using the phrase? One phrase user told me, it's not that I'm a bitch, it's just how the phrase is.

OK.

So what if I turned it around? Fat Bitch.

The word that I would be chastised for is not 'bitch', but 'fat'. Because how dare I call someone fat? And for the record, I never would, but if they can get away with calling me skinny and the opposite word for that is fat, I think that should be the fair trading. No?

But let me tell you, the moment that word leaves my mouth, we would have a problem. Someone just called someone fat.
And let me tell you, I already know what the consequences are. For starters, I'd definitely be the skinny bitch that just called someone fat. Chew on that.
Then, I'd be the one who used the derogatory word of fat. Then, I'd be viewed as someone who thinks they are better than the fat bitch.

And I would never call anyone fat. Seriously. So what other recourse do I have?

Chubby whore?
Overweight hoochie?
Big mama?

None really applies and none I would throw around to any of my friends as a nickname. So why is skinny bitch just? Why?

And who the F started it - that's my real question. Because the only people that tend to throw it around are other women. I never hear a man calling me a skinny bitch. And I never hear boys calling each other, "buff bastard" or "slim son of a bitch".

I don't mind the occasional playful 'bitch' when I do something crazy or warranting of the word thrown at me. For some reason, skinny bitch isn't playful to me at all. My feelings aren't hurt. I don't feel cut down. But I do feel as if it's a huge double standard.

What do you think? Do you use that phrase and why? Maybe I can get a better understanding of it if I knew.

Monday/Sunday

Yesterday, I called in sick. No shame at all. Can you blame me? It's not like I'm actully contributing to the business anymore. Like I said, all I do is sit around and tool around online and maybe have half an hours worth of work to do in my eight hour day. I figured if I called in sick, it'd bump it up to an hours of work. Only if I could call in sick every other day. That'd be nice.

I also did it because my Sunday was spent all day in bed. All the Sunday things that I usually do, didn't. I needed to make up for it. So I lazed around on the couch - yes, I watched Oprah. Does anyone find Dr. Oz hot? During the first ten minutes of the show he took his shirt off for some rolfing (extra extra deep tissue massage) and the audience members went buck wild for his hairy chest. His grey hairy chest. Is he hot or is Oprah's audience that starved?

I also watched Evening. I've been dying to watch that since it was in the theater and over Thanksgiving, my mom gave me the DVD. She received it as a gift and told me she fell asleep within 5 minutes of it. I could've been asleep in ten.
It was so boring and soooo long.

Other than that, I did what I do best at work - tooled around online. I contemplated getting a pedicure, but that'd require a shower and leaving my apartment. That became a no-go.

Then at the end of the day, around six, I kept wondering where the day actually went. It zoomed so fast. Today, it's back to work - grrr - if they let me go before Christmas I wouldn't hate on it. Seriously. And can we discuss how Christmas is only seven days away?!?! HOLEY MOLEY. I haven't bought one single present! or sent out any holiday cards. Craaaap. Maybe that's what I'll do today at work.

Got to go get my Tuesday/Monday on!

Toothbrush

Last weekend I had the best birthday weekend, ever. This weekend I had the best low key relaxed weekend. With Cowboy, of course. This month will be such a gift, as he has every weekend off. YIPPEE. You have no idea how excited I am for it.

Saturday, we started at Buffalo Wild Wings (his favorite place). We ate lunch and challenged each other in NTN Trivia...ok, why isn't every restaurant hooked up with NTN? It'd make for very interesting dinner parties. The winner got to choose the movie we'd go see that afternoon.

I smoked his ass! Thanks mostly in part to the majority of entertainment questions versus historical trivia.

We went and saw Juno. I have a crush on Juno and more of a crush on Paulie Bleeker. I just have to say his first and last name. Paulie Bleeker. Love him, love him. Anyone want to go? I'm game to watch it again & again. Who knew teenage pregnancy could be so cute?!?

Cowboy didn't want to admit it to his friends later that night, but I have a huge feeling he developed a crush on the movie as well. Let it be known, I think it's totally possible to have a crush on a movie.

After Juno, I felt a teensy bit bad that I made him sit through that, so we made a (free) double feature and snuck into I am Legend.

Hmph. My feelings on Will Smith still stand. But, oh my word, that movie could have been longer. I don't know what it was, but I needed it to be longer. One, they bored me half to death by dragging out the beginning or let's just be honest the 2/3 of the film. Then, then, then once it gets really good (and by good, I mean once the beejezus was scared out of me and I was fully paying attention, because who knew? this is also a thriller) that's when the movie decides to rush a marathon into the ending.

That's all I'll say about it. Anyone else watch it and get that same feeling?

After that we went back to his place - where it was sausage soup. Nothing but guys. Guys, beer, my Scene It, Catchphrase and lil ol' me. I sure did learn a lot. Like, beer and guys come way before girlfriend you spent all day with. It's still all good. I'd think something wrong with him if he chose me first.

Sunday, oh Sunday. We stayed in bed all day. Keeping those details secret - we did play Scrabble (in bed) and once I was bed sore I got up and made beef stroganoff, from scratch. I'm going to post the recipe sooner than later because it is that good. And I am not one to be loving some beef stroganoff. I found the recipe in this month's Bon Appetite. The picture looked amazing and the recipe (update: I found it online - picture and all) called for slices of beef tenderloin not ground beef, so I was interested and in. It was so fabulous.

And before I forget, Cowboy bought a toothbrush to leave at my place. In my bathroom. Next to my toothbrush.

Now, now I didn't freak out. I was nearly shocked that it just found its way there without an announcement or RSVP or introduction. I went into the bathroom and there it was: purple toothbrush. (Purple?) When I asked him about it's attendance. Cowboy said, it was about time that he had one at my place and didn't I agree. Yes? Then he went into a whole speech about when we live together I'm going to have to get used to his stuff nestled and touching with mine.

See, that's how great he is. He knew it wasn't the toothbrush act that bothered me; but the fact that something purple was in my brown and orange bathroom - it clearly didn't match and it was touching mine, so we needed to move it over a space on the toothbrush holder. Seriously. I'm that anal.

And So it is

My last event has come and gone. I didn't cry. That's probably because one of the patrons was being a royal pain in my butt - c'est la vie. It's over with.

Now, what to do at the office?

I'm going to dread Monday like nobody's business.

Well, I've been looking into job and had a few interviews. Why is it that the only two that I really would like are the only two that have a slow interview/hiring process. Both of them have told me that it's going to take awhile. A long while. Like mid-January while.

Oookay. Why conduct interviews then? I don't get that. Dangle the carrot in front of my face and then place it a month ahead of me - possibly.

What can you do?

And my boyfriend, again , is the best thing ever.

Usually when I come back from a trip I cannot, cannot, cannot wait to get back home and just veg. Something sparked in me on the drive back to my place and I made a left where my apartment is on the right.

I snuck into his apartment and right up into his bed with him. And it was great. I usually cannot sleep in the middle of the day, especially after having an 8 hour of sleep night, but I fell right asleep in his arms, like that - right away.

M.I.A.

Oh holey moley, it's been too long. So long, in fact, that I was staring at the blogger login screen trying to recall my password. Oy.

I didn't run off and get married. I didn't retire the blog. And I'm not that busy.

It's really simple what happened. Nowadays at work, I do nothing. With the new takeover and since I'm not continuing on to NYC with the company, there are plenty of things that I'm not privy to - such as meetings, Spring planning, conference calls and general work.

All I do is any last minute coordination of the event I have tonight. That takes about half an hour of my day. The other 7.5 hours I spend online. Let's just say, my holiday shopping list is complete. And I think I can seriously get married next week because I have a few wedding ideas planned to the T.

And then there are some days when I don't get to the office until noon or I leave at 4:30pm...don't get too jealous of that, it's a very stealth move that I've conquered. I have to sneak in and then sneak out. I'm not too worried about getting caught because what are they going to do? Fire me?

So...with all that internet usage at work, the last thing I want to do when I get home is turn on my laptop.

I haven't yet ventured into blog land at work due to fear of getting caught, but then again, what will they do? Fire me?

They told me my last day would have been December 28 and then dumbass me accepted an extension to it. I agreed to keep working for another month or whenever the new company gives us the final axe. I'm already regretting that decision. Another month?

That's just 30 more days of me sitting around doing absolutely nothing...

But I'm sure, you'd like to know about the other stuff happening in my life:

1. I had the best birthday ever. I'm 30 and I didn't keel over! YAH. Friends from San Antonio came in and we had a blast. I had a great turnout of people at my party and that felt amazing. And the boyfriend...he is perfect.

2. With that said, things with Cowboy are _________________. I'm speechless. I don't know how to express in words how great he is and I am with him.

3. I'm job hunting. Grrr.

4. My very last event with my company is tonight. I feel like I'm about to attend a funeral. I seriously think I will cry. I couldn't be happier that my last event is in Austin, at my favorite store location. It's our newest one and it's in a very cool shopping area with the coolest shops.

That's it. Maybe next week, I'll venture into blog land at work and see where it gets me. I missed you guys.